Sunday Morning Circus

Erin's job, as Director of Religious Education at our Parish, requires her to be out of the house Sunday morning. No problem. I got this. A loaded bottle, Sesame Street, a few tylenol, and its go time...I lost.

So what went wrong? Well, it all started with Karis playing the "spoon game". The "spoon game" refers to her throwing yogurt covered spoons accross the kitchen. She knows the stakes are high, but it's worth it. Playing the "spoon game" can mean time-outs or spankings, but Karis believes that's a small price to pay for the delightful look of approval on Grace's face as I mop up yogurt from the floor (and counter, sink, and fridge). Did I mention I do all this one handed since I'm holding Wells with the other? I think the image of me hunched over with back pain makes the game all the more enjoyable for the girls.

So...after a few time outs, I issued Karis a final warning not to do it again. As soon as I turn my back, however, Grace whispered in her ear. Now, if you've ever heard a four year old whisper, you know they're not very good at it. Everybody can hear. It's more like a different voice they use then a true whisper. Grace said, "Karis, throw your spoon again." Karis immediately obeyed. Having heard the whole exchange I told Grace to go to her room immediately. At this point, Grace lost it.

I don't know what was so devastating in her four year old world that caused the outburst (maybe she was outraged I heard her secret), but it was one of the worst ever. I had to put Wells down to deal with her. In a matter of a few seconds he transitioned from a peaceful sleep into a tortured scream. In a panic I went looking for his bottle which seemed to have gotten sucked into a black hole. It was nowhere to be found. It turned up in the shower 48 hours later. I must admit that I do have vague memories of attempting to sedate him with hot steam, but these memories didn't surface until after I rediscovered it. Nonetheless he was screaming his head off for the next hour.

As I attempted to calm Grace down from her fit it occured to me that I have three children now, not two. After doing a quick head count, it was clear that Karis was the missing party. I began searching for her in all the usual places. When I found her she had a mysterious orange jell all over her face. I promptly began investigaing, "Karis, what have you been doing?" I'll never forget her response. "Just drinking medicine." I quickly dialed 9-11. "My daughter just drank half a bottle of children's ibuprofen." Their response was unexpected - "what"? Forgetting that all of my children were screaming in a unified chorus of protest at my failed parenting I repeated myself in normal volume. After being asked for clarificaion again I realized their deafening screams were the problem. Hopefully Grace and Karis will never remember me covering the phone and shouting with a bright red face, "BE QUIET NOW!!! EVERYBODY, PLEASE STOP SCREAMING. STOP PRODUCING SOUND. KARIS HAS POISONED HERSELF AND I NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO DO."

I took off work yesterday to recover. We're all doing much better now. Karis is fine. Love you all.

Jerry W. Tate

On September 24th Erin gave birth to our first son, Jerry Wells Tate. He will go by "Wells". Becoming a dad to a son has led me to spend countless hours over the past two weeks reflecting on my own father, "Jerry Wayne Tate." The two Jerry's already have a great deal in common; same name, similar hair cut, occasional gas problems, dramatic mood swings when hungry, unexpected naps, ect.

I hope my little Jerry will experience all the blessings from me that I experienced from my dad, Big Jerry, growing up. I remember having my manhood tested at the young age of three when my dad would wrestle with me on the floor. I remember the proud look on his face when I made a great catch in backyard footall. I remember laughing hysterically when he read Patrick Mcmanus stories to me before bed. I remember him fixing my fishing pole while I'd use his (and quickly break it as well). I remember the smell of his coffee as we would drive to our favorite fishing hole in the dark. I remember his smiling face on August 14th, 2004, as Erin and I exchanged wedding vows. Consistent, reliable, honorable. These words describe my dad. He taught me what it means to be a man.

My dad left me a hard act to follow, but I think Wells will be extremely blessed if I can be half the dad to him as Big Jerry has been to me. Many theologians recognize a dad's unique role in shapping our conception of God as a Father to us. My earthly father has helped me believe in the reality of the heavenly Father described in Scripture. Jerry Tate made the idea of an all loving, patient, consistent, reliable, and forgiving heavenly Father, believable to me. Thank you dad. I love you. Alaska 2016 (you, me, and Wells). It's on!

The Magical Kingdom

For Grace's 4th birthday Erin and I decided to go all out. We took Grace to Disney World. We didn't tell her that we were going until after her birthday dinner when Erin presented her with a beautiful Cinderella cake. The glow on my sweet girls face when she found out where she was going will make me smile for years to come. To make the gift even more special, she found out that she was going on the trip with her way cool older cousin Taylor Rose, and her super cute little cousin, Billy.

After a not so quick departure I found myself in the back seat of my sister Sara's mini-van. My brother in law, Mike, did a great job making up time on the way there as he managed to tick several minutes off of our GPS predicted arrival time (that's how you know a good driver). I should also mention how strange it was to be sitting in the back seat while Mike drove the van. Picture the contrast; Jeremy - in the back playing Barby's and watching Cinderella. Mike - peacefully sipping on coffee while at the same time communicating to all drivers around him, "cut me off and it will be the end of you." Why did I have to get the brother in law that could easily be cast in Terminator IV? I had no issues with my manhood until Big Mike came around. My wife, Erin, only makes it worse... "Oh... you worked-out with Mike, can you even lift half as much as him?...His biceps are bigger than your legs..."

So anyway, we arrived. Kind of. We still had to take three different trains and park with 10 million other people before actually entering into the Magical Kingdom itself. Now...You might be wondering why they call this Kingdom "Magical"? Well, for starters, when you enter the Magical Kingdom you first have to hand over your entire life savings to a sweaty guy wearing a pink Micky Mouse shirt. This process creates a rush of blood to the head which magnifies the effects of entering the resort. It puts visitors into a sort of trance where they immediately become convinced today will be the best day ever and nothing else matters. My life savings came up short of course, but after bartering with Erin's wedding ring, my shirt, and any prizes Grace might win during her visit, they let us in the gates.

Immediately, Grace's eyes lit up as we pointed out Cinderella's Castle. Free of all material possessions I was able to focus completely on my daughter's delight. She really was captivated, it was pretty cool. I picked her up and together we took it in. Then, in the middle of our little moment a frightfully wicked laugh boomed out of every microphone in the Magical Kingdom. In a second Grace's face changed from awe and wonder to terror and fear. Then, at the height of her fear, a witch, Maleficent, yes, that is literally her name (she's the crazy looking demon woman up above), jumped up onto the steps of Cinderella's Castle. The exact place Grace had pictured herself playing, Cinderella's steps, the place Cinderella lost her glass slipper, had become her nightmare. The rest of the day she wanted to know her exact proximity from "The Castle" (she would no longer call it "Cinderella's" Castle for it had been taken over by a Witch)

As the day progressed, we went on a total of three rides. As Mike pointed out to me, this broke down to $80.00 per ride. We rode race cars, flew on Dumbo, and flew on Aladdin.

As I think about the day though, we actually had a great time, despite the disappointments.

Instead of having fun on rides, we had fun just being together. Sara and I found it hysterical to see parents so obsessed with getting their money's worth that they were literally dragging sleeping children into lines two hours long. I was amazed to see my 8 year old niece, Taylor-Rose, spend her entire day waiting in line for little kid rides without complaining once. I was amazed to hear my wife explain to my daughter the fun of make believe. She explained to Grace that Maleficent was a normal person who just puts on a costume for work. I didn't buy into her explanation myself of course (normal people generally do not commit their life's work to frightening children), but I was glad her words were able to comfort Grace.

In the end though, I think I also realized that the fear is good. When I was a kid I had a similar experience to Grace involving the Big Bad Wolf. I'll never forget it. Although I was terrified at the time, I think it made my own experience (to Disney Land) that much more real. After all, who would Peter Pan be without Captain Hook? Who would Cinderella be without her evil stepmother? In order for kids to really love their hero, they have to be afraid of their nemesis.

I think it's the same way with us as adults in our faith. I've written this whole blog entry preoccupied with tomorrow being good Friday and wondering if we'll be able to find a place to stop on our drive back to Maryland to celebrate Christ's death. I realize though that Good Friday has no meaning if we're not afraid of dying, sin, the forces of evil, or judgement. Originally, I was sad that Grace was so afraid by what she saw. But honestly, she left Disney World loving loving Cinderella and Snow White more than ever. I think she understands now, at a deeper level, the goodness because she had to see the darkness. May it be the same for us on Good Friday as well.

Love you guys!

Why the Catholic Church?

For months I imagined posting a blog where I laid out a big theological argument for Catholicism and why I have been drawn to the Catholic Church. Now, however, thanks to what I have gleamed from the wisdom of my wife, I simply want to focus on Christ. I want to focus on the fullness of Christ and that which I never would have seen without the Catholic Church.

Far from "Silent Night" or snow covered fields of majestic stillness, the birth of Jesus teaches us something stunning about how God gives His grace to us. Nothing is silent or still about birth, trust me, I've watched two! At Christmas we're reminded that the most abundant gifts of God's grace take a physical form. Everything about the incarnation is physical. The whole life of Christ, from His painful birth, to his agonizing death, teach us, that our sinful state requires a physical remedy. This is the core of Catholic Sacramental teaching, that God's grace comes in physical form. This reality, is not only true of the incarnation and Christ's death, which reconciles us with God, it is also true for how God changes us. We are not changed by signs and symbols, but by the life giving bread and the saving cup.

This has changed Christmas for me. Silent Night isn't Silent Night because of an idealistically quiet baby or a peaceful birth. It is Silent because of the presence of the Holy God. As I sat today around the burning candles and kneeling parishioners at St. John Newman Church, this reality silenced and calmed my busy, distracted mind. As I repented for my selfishness I was relieved to actually find myself distracted from focusing on myself. The beauty of the Holy, Perfect Child, our Emmanuel, seemed, however vaguely, present. Present enough to leave me hungry for more. In the end, this is what Christmas is all about, what C.S. Lewis called, "cultivating a hunger for God." The Catholic Church doesn't teach, and I don't believe, that somebody has to be Catholic to experience Christ. Wanting to experience more of Christ, however, has led me here, and since I seem to have fallen of the face of the earth to many of you, I thought it would be good to share my thoughts with you this Christmas.

Love in Christ and Merry Christmas, Jeremy

The Mercy of Parenting

I had a really great idea...as we planned to leave for Louisiana I thought it would be good to begin our second day driving as early as possible. If we left at 4:00 A:M I would be able to get in several hours of peaceful driving before the girls woke up. I relished visions of driving down an empty road, cup of coffee in hand, with peaceful sleeping babies in the back. Ahhh....

This is when you know you've become a really lame grown up, when you find yourself day dreaming about a peaceful road trip. Don't get me wrong, I love spending the time with my family. But, there's just something about changing your fifth dirty diaper at a rest area in 100 degree heat in Alabama that makes flying seem like a better idea.

So anyway, I put my plan into action at 4:15 A:M. I packed us up from Erin's grandmother's house in North Carolina, put the girls in the car, apolgized to Erin for insisting we left so early, and took my seat. All was going according to plan, except for one thing, we were low on gas. When I stopped to fill up at 5:45, the girls woke up....for good. Within twenty minutes my vision of a perfect peaceful morning was turned upsidedown. Karis was throwing up, Grace was crying in dramatic hunger pains, and Erin was revisiting the issue of my judgment in getting us all up so early.

As I looked in the rear-view mirror at Karis' sad and sleepy face I was struck with my own selfishness. I had planned the morning arond fulfilling my own vision of autonomous freedom. I did not want to be hindered with baby troubles. God's purposes in using babies as sanctifying tools of redemption are staggering. Jesus insisted that in order to enter the Kingdom of God, we must recieve it as a child (Mark 10). A child... utterly dependant, utterly helpless, and utterly needy. This is what we are, and in realizing this, we come to see the face of a Father, who is more fatherly than anything we could have imagined. For me, this is the mercy of parenting.

trying to get kisses

I never had the desire to kiss anybody with a “drooling problem” until I became a dad. How things change…I often trick Karis into giving me kisses by holding a yummy strawberry or something in between my teeth. She goes for the food and accidently gives me a sweet little kiss in the process. Then she gives a cute little giggle as she realizes she’s fallen for the same trick again.

"story time" gone wrong

Grace's favorite part of her bedtime routine is of course, "story-time." Every night we do two "Grace and Eli (her best friend)" stories and one "Jesus story". Grace has developed a very high standard for what she calls, "good stories" and "not such a good story." So last night, we didn't put her down until after nine, I thought she was falling asleep during her story so I didn't put too much effort into making it good. In fact, I didn't even know what I was talking about I was so sure she was sleeping. In the middle of it though, Grace sat up asking for some clarification as clearly my story had not made sense.

I felt guilty for not making it a better story so I got on my game immediatlely. I quickly turned a simple story about a day at the zoo into a dramatic action thriller, with my wife falling into the lions den. If your thinking there's something wrong with me for telling a two year old such an awful story, I agree. I was in the moment, what can I say? Mom was going to get rescued of course, but by the time I made the most life-like lion growl that I could muster, Grace was deep under the covers squeezing me for dear life. At first I thought she was playing along, but I quickly realized that she was quite scared. Thankfully she let me "try again". I ended up doing a story about a petting zoo where Grace got to take home a baby deer. Thankfully two-year olds forgive and forget better than we do. Peace, Jeremy

Very Funny Youtube, Thanks Village Church!

Funny youtube!

What Grace really does during nap time

After what seemed like a pretty good nap for Grace, maybe an hour, Erin and I heard her calling for us to come into the bedroom. It was cloudy outside so the room was unusually dark, but it didn't take long for me to notice that Grace's face was entirely black. After a closer look it was clear that Grace's "quiet time" during her nap, didn't involve her sleeping, but her applying an entire tube of Erin's mascara over the entire surface of her face.

Literally, nothing was left uncovered. From chin to cheek, lips, and nose, all were black. Since Grace isn't allowed out of her bed during nap time before the buzzer goes off (that's another story) I knew I shouldn't laugh at her. My only option was to leave the room and crack up outside. I sent Erin in and she managed to keep a strait face long enough to tell Grace to get in the shower. Knowing she was already in trouble, Grace wasted no time. Before we knew it the shower was on and Grace was inside soaking wet with all of her clothes still on.

At this point, Erin, being the loving wife she is, went to the mall, abandoning me to a soaking wet two year old, standing fully dressed in a shower, covered in mascara. Now it was just the two of us. I got in the shower with my best scrub cloth and prepared for war. Erin warned me it wouldn't be easy to get off, but I wasn't intimidated. When I stepped in the shower, however, Grace made it as clear as she possibly could that she couldn't deal with the issue at hand because she had to put on her swimming pool goggles.

As I looked down at the beaming smile of my two year old girl, swimming goggles on, covered and dripping in black mascara, fully dressed in wet red shirt, I could only smile back and think to myself, it doesn't get better than this.

This is a recent family picture. I have many things to write about but little time to write.. thought I could at least post the first family pic in a while.. see how great it turned out, ha ha!

Ella Wagner Turns Two

Ever wonder what happens when two football playing buddies from highschool each have two little girls and no boys? The video below will demonstrate the outcome. They have melted under the precious sunshine of baby girls... and they become toe nail painting doting daddies. It is pretty adorable to watch. This video is from our Goddaughter Ella's second birthday. Grace and Ella are great friends and love playing with their daddy's together. Dave I hope this doesn't ruin your reputation from being an All-American lacrosse player and record setting linebacker... well if it does it was well worth it!
You two are awesome dads!


Happy Birthday Ella!!!

It is hard for them to turn these little girls down... even when they want to paint their daddys' toenails'....

Sisters

Watching Grace fall in love with her baby sister and watching Karis begin to recognize her big sister is one of the sweetest aspects of my day as a mom. We are so busy but this only reminds us that it is because we have been so blessed.

When Grace was placed in my arms for the first time a shocking joy instantly overwhelmed me. There was nothing in my life that came close to this pressing feeling of responsiblity and hope for the future. Karis' arrival was different in so many ways and the emotions were same but the experience of them was less instantaneous. At first I was getting past the shocking pain of a natural and very rapid labor. The pain was quickly overtaken by shock because she was a girl and not a boy. I had prepared for months to have a baby boy. We absolutely love little girls so this was a very happy shock but a shock none the less.

I wanted to finally add some more pics.
This is when I was in labor just a little bit before my water broke. I felt pretty good until the water broke!

Karis Maria

We have had a busy but wonderful three weeks as a family of four! Karis is still a great sleeper and Grace is a very loving big sister. I feel extremely thankful for a easy recovery and smooth transition so far. We wanted to share this album from the delivery:

Karis Maria Tate

The whole experience of having our second baby went pretty much as planned apart from a few minor details (gender of the baby, name of baby…small stuff).

Erin first told me she was in labor at 5:30 Saturday morning. My heart jumped for a split second, and then I remembered that my wife has longer labors than any land mammal on the planet. As I lade in bed thinking about how I’d spend the next thirty-six hours I quickly came to the conclusion that I would need as much sleep as possible, and that concerning myself with petty “pre-labor” contractions would be a waste of valuable energy that I would need for later.

After eight hours, which included going to Kayla and Brianna’s lacrosse game in ninety degree weather, there were still no changes in Erin’s contractions. I realized it would probably be a late-night delivery. Once again, sleep would be imperative in order for me to go through such an ordeal. At 2:30 in the afternoon Erin went to the mall with Nicole Marino which provided me with the chance for some much needed shut-eye. I put Grace down for her nap as soon as she left. We prayed for baby together and then we dozed off together for about two hours in good old fashioned cuddle mode.

Erin came home from the mall around 4:30, contractions picked up, and within an hour her water broke. By 6:30 we were in some seriously intense labor with only a couple minutes between each contraction. This was my cue to start packing. Actually, Erin had already packed (good thing). Erin, her sister Sarah, and I arrived at the birthing center at 7:00 P.M. It took half an hour just getting into the birthing room due the intensity of Erin’s labor.

For nearly five months Erin had been telling me that we were going to have a boy. We tried not to find out the gender during her sonogram, but when we looked at the pictures, we were all sure we had a little boy and that he was doing quite well for himself. As it turned out, however, what we had thought were some healthy man parts turned out to be cute little girl legs. At 8:27 P.M, Karis Maria Tate was born. 8lbs, 21 inches, real real cute.

Apparently, because Erin didn’t use an epidermal or any pain medicine, the noises coming from the birthing room had a deeply troubling affect on Steve, Erin’s dad. The faces he made in the waiting room might have made you think he was in labor too. The midwives even asked if he was o.k. Erin also gave birth to Karis in a bath tub, which, in Steve’s mind had never been attempted by humans before. We tried to reassure him that crazier things have been done in giving birth, and that the midwives (whom he’d thought only existed in ancient Judaism) knew what they were doing.

Amazingly, since we were at a birthing center instead of a hospital, we were allowed to leave whenever we wanted. Somehow, Erin was able to walk out on her own at 11:45…a little more then three hours after delivery. It seemed like a bad idea at the time, but then again, it did mean a full nights sleep for me which was very much needed after such a long day with only one two hour nap. As it turns out, though, sleep is kind of the theme of this little girls life so far. Unlike Grace, who seemed determined to walk home from the hospital on her own two feet, Karis is content being our little sleeping baby. Her first twenty four hours saw no more then two hours of daylight. I joined her on much of this sleep of course, so, to say the least I’m kind of feeling like a joke.

God amazing provided for us with this new birth. Erin’s sister especially has loved us incredibly over the past twenty four hours. It’s nice having a labor and delivery nurse stay with you after having a baby. The powerful images I witnessed yesterday; of being delivered from a place of darkness to a place of light, through the blood and sacrifice of another, has impressed on my own heart, once again, the work of Christ in redeeming us. The best part of the picture for me, as Karis has shown me, is that in Christ we’ve been delivered into a place of loving rest. Rest in Christ and know that we are loved.

In Him, Jeremy and Erin

Baby Tate is Coming!

We are in the early stages of labor. We ask for your prayers during these following days. Erin and Baby are doing very well. Thanks for all the support during this pregnancy.

From Jeremy about Grace

Hey friends,

Recently we've run into a strange problem in our typical nightly routine. Typically, we eat dinner, give Grace a bath, get her PJ's on, and then we read the Jesus story book Bible. Every night we're excited for Grace to hear more about Jesus and how much He loves her. Grace, however, has taken a liking to a different character. Moses you guess? Noah? Maybe one of the twelve Apostles? Not for this 23 month old. Her favorite is Goliath. Yes every night, as Erin and I try to lovingly move her on to the others stories, Grace pat-pat's Goliath, kisses Goliath, and smiles at him as he threatens to annihilate the Israelites. When we read about Isaiah or somebody else she starts to cry and through her tears says only one thing...Goliath...want Goliath. We've almost given up the battle. Every time we read about his promise to slaughter whoever comes to face him, her little face just lights up like Christmas morning. It's cute in an extremely disturbing kind of way. I've given her my best theological arguments concerning how truly evil he is. I feel like the father of an 18 year old, trying to convince my daughter to dump her jerk boyfriend. "Really Grace, He's not good for you." So far, all the efforts have been in vain. Thankfully though, the Jesus Story Book Bible leaves out the part where David decapitates Goliath. That might have been a little much for Grace to deal with. She thinks he just goes to sleep at the end of the story with a boo-boo on his forehead. I'll keep you updated. - Jeremy

Mercy in Uganda

Please view this clip from NBC nightly news if you have two minutes,



Obviously, Uganda is near to my heart after spending some time there this past summer. It is actually a success story in the fight against AIDs however, the children are still bearing many grievous consequences of a nearly an entire generation lost to the disease.

If you are interested in how you can help please click on the "fount of Mercy" link on the left side of this page.

Grace and mommy with lil tate

Christmas 2007- February 2008 134
Originally uploaded by erintate41

Carrying two babies!